Random Thought

Does anyone else think the Olsen Twins, you know Mary Kate and Ashley, look like owls? Their eyes are the size of headlights, with tiny face (and bodies). All thats missing is feathers. Wait, they wear those feather boa thingies. So weird.

Lose the Dentist, he's an EVIL GENIUS anyway.

Okay, I just finished reading about a woman complaining how she tries to budget, but her kids dental bills always pile up. And it occurs to me - I read this very often. I have only gone to the dentist once in my life. And that is after I became lazy and stopped brushing twice a day. So what I need to ask is.....why do you people need to go so often?

Just brush once in the morning (before breakfast) and then once at night (before bed). And no I'm not a lone freak, nobody in my family needs dental visits or has cavities or gingivitis or whatever. No, I don't use Listerene everyday (though dad used to pour it on our cuts and scrapes). I think it just might be not brushing properly, not brushing long enough and enough times in one day.

I got two cavities due to laziness and depression. It hurt like hell and so I went to the dentist. She cleaned it up and told me I should have my 2 back teeth removed! Hell, no! I took matters into my own hands, I researched the net for those hippie herbal type cures. And the evil dentists who want to cash in your teeth (they partner up with the tooth fairy), don't want you to know that they work. I started brushing properly using a fluride toothpaste, Colgate Total works the best apparently. As a side note" monoflurophosphate" (from the back of the tube) is one of my favorite words to repeat over and over again, to send myself into a stupor. I even came up with my own top secret blend of herbs, spices, minerals, and rocks (okay maybe not rocks but, that would've made it REAL interesting) to reverse my cavitiesand completely losy my cold sensitivity. I'm thinking of marketing it. Well read below for things I've learned.

• If you do have cavities:
• Swish out your mouth with water after everything you eat. Starve those bacteria. Takes like 10 sec.
• Chew Xylitol Gum(it is proven to reduce cavities. Gum? Yes! Woohoo!)
• Drink plenty of milk, it is proven to help reduce cavities.
• Massage your gums, use the side of your brush or finger. It helps, I know. Blood circulation and all, strength, need I say more?
• Using Colgate Total as opposed to Sensodine is good. I know.
• For immediete relief try Clove Oil, it numbs down the zapping pain better and longer than Oragel.
• Cut pieces of raw garlic (click this just for fun) and hold them against your gums for and hour. Okay DON'T. I did and the suphur in garlic burns you a new one. On the bright side the cavity pain dulls due to the pain & discomfort of raw sulphurizing your gums.
• Eating Cheese, yeah. "Contains fatty acids that possess antibacterial ingredients. The protein in cheese also coats and protects tooth enamel".
• My top secret formula. Call me.

Friendly People Need Privacy Too! - A Piece of Advice

So a friendly cashier loves to chat with all his customers (aww how nice, all we get in Jersey are mopey depressed cashiers with Freddy Krueger type faces) but wants a friendly way of saying, "NO", when customers ask to befriend him on Facebook or for his number. Abby (from the Dear Abby columns) thought he should tell his customers, "I keep my private and personal lives separate, but thanks for asking".....what the......"thanks for asking"??? Who says that to someone?? It is an obvious blowoff, and while I understand this guy wants to keep his private life separate, people will be "offended" at the rebuff. Instead.......



What I would say to him:

You should just tell them your manager considers that inappropriate behaviour, and you cannot give out your personal information. Telling people you cannot give out personal information will put up the perception you don't want to associate with them, you are just being pleasant at the register because you have to. And you don't want that. So just tell them, handing out personal information during work hours is against store policy. Most people in our society do not question things, they just go with it.



P.S Ha! It'll suck for you if some hot chick..........er..... I mean using this method, you shall be disappointed if an attractive young woman wants your number and you cannot give it out due to "store policy". :)

Sometimes It's Too Much - A Piece of Advice

A mother writes in to say, her friends and family will not leave her in peace. They are well intentioned as she had just lost her son, but all she wanted to do was relax and spent time with her other son.

I would say to this woman:
Take the letter you just wrote and tape it to the front door. This way your friends can read what you are feeling, know that you feel so strongly that you had to write to an advice columnist for help, and you don't make anyone feel "attacked" for trying to be there for you. If anyone asks, (or does not read or understand your letter), explain to them, "I am so glad you have been coming to keep me company, you have helped me SO much by being here. Now I think I should spent two weeks alone with my son, and just relax, by ourselves. When I am ready again for company I'll call all of you guys over and we'll hang out, but for now, I just need some alone time. Everyone needs to spend some time alone, to themselves, it is a spiritual kind of healing. Thank you SO much for understanding". And remember thank them "for understanding" before they have a chance to say anything, this will quite any dissenters you may have.

Jerky Stepmom- What's New? - A Piece of Advice

Today I read about a woman writing in about the way her ex-husbands wife treats her. Apparently, like a dog bowl. This woman was friendly to the extreme it seems like. She took care of her ex-hubbys wives children, flew them to theme parks, invited them for sleepovers with her son, etc. The problem comes in when her (now grownup) son and his fiance invite her to a dinner the ex's wife is hosting and the woman (ex's wife) dis-invites her.

What I would say:
I don't know about you, but on what planet are your dinner guests allowed to bring in more guests of their own choosing? And how can you accept such an invitation, not given by the original host and hostess? So that is where you are wrong, but I must say after finding out about your "non-invited" invite this woman should have been gracious enough to hold out a hand to you; instead of embarrassing you, she should have set another plate. I say this only due to all the things you've mentioned you've done for her over the years. Your son who refuses to have anything to do with her, is sweet, a loyal son. But the dinner was hers and nor you nor your son had a right to impose yourselves on her no matter how ungrateful a creature she is. And that is the end, she behaved like an ogre, but if you and your son are angry about the dinner- it was her right to do as she please in her home.

Sick Boy and The Girls Who Want Him - A Piece of Advice

So there's this boy who wants his girlfriend to take secret pics of girls and their nether regions in the locker room at school. And this girl is writing for help, "What should I do? I don't want to lose him! I'm an idiot who cannot think for herself!". Okay, so she didn't quite say the last sentence, but then again she did - with her mind.

In response to this dumb child many people wrote in some interesting points I never would have thought of. One, she can be charged with child pornography and I quote from a psychologist, "The young lady and whoever receives and distributes those photos could be convicted of a felony, serve prison time and live the rest of their lives as registered sex offenders." And all of this, because of a stupid immature act. The girl who writes in to the column obviously knows this is wrong or she would never have written, now would she? Unfortunately, her need to please her boyfriend, make sure he thinks highly of her (which if she thought about it, he most obviously does not) is at the top of her mind.

I would say: Are you serious young lady?? You would never have written this letter had you thought it would be anything but wrong. Are you aware that young people your age have killed themselves after having private information outed forcefully? Can you live with the fact that one of those girls might just have a heightened reaction to her naked photo on the Internet? And that is where it will go. Digital is digital. Your boyfriend will promise not to show anybody, he might keep his word even. But maybe his friend borrows his phone, discovers the pictures and forwards some to himself- it goes on from there. Did you know your pictures are sent to a cell tower first, and those pictures can be accessed by people with know how or legally. I think the biggest issue here is, YOU. Why would you think a boy who'd rather look at OTHER girls cares for you? Why do you think a boy who forces you to do something you tell him you don't want to, in any way cares about YOUR well being? Tell him, if he really cares for you, he will find something else to amuse himself, as this disturbs you. There are plenty of things nowadays, and this would show he cares.

You have the option of telling your school office - anonymously. Nobody needs to know it's you, and you can get cell phones banned in the locker rooms. Your boyfriend (should you choose to keep the thing), will not be able to pressure you into taking pictures anymore. Ta-Da! And remember dear, don't do things you wouldn't want done to you. BE STRONG, make a sacrifice and let your boyfriend go BUT do not hurt (potentially for life) other young girls no matter how carefree and "open" they may seem to you.

Donations are not always smart - A Piece of Advice

A woman wrote in all angry that some kids she knew who couldn't pay up for their school lunches might be cut off. She found this out while helping them pick up papers they dropped on the sidewalk. She was angry they didn't qualify for aid by a few dollars. She wants people to donate to other soldiers kids who can't afford to pay for school lunches.

While it was so nice of this woman to pay for school lunches, I would refuse any donation asking for these children. If they were near the lunch aid cutoff, then they certainly did not need to buy expensive school lunches!! Buying lunch is always more expensive than making your own at home. It is one of those big cost cutting tips adults are taught during the recession. If you cannot make ends meet, buy a loaf of bread, some peanut butter, cheese, jelly, cold cuts, etc. From the cost of one school lunch you will be able to feed your kids for DAYS. Make some mac and cheese and give it to them in a mini kids thermos. My parents couldn't afford school lunches, so every other Friday (pizza day) mom would give me a dollar ($1= once big slice, chocolate milk, orange, tater tots). That's right a DOLLAR was a lot of money. I took from a 3 or 4 variety selection of sandwiches -- for years. That money you think of donating can be better spent on clothes, school supplies, shoes, and food supplies that are not ready made meals. I would really encourage people who wish to donate money to check out the charities "in house" costs vs how much they give out, and to think whether you can help certain families out by just teaching them better money management. GIVE to those families and children who have no options with their money not those who make stupid decisions with theirs.

I find it hilarious that this woman 'noticed' that the kids were behind on their school lunch bill. If you are helping someone pick up fallen papers, you do not need to look them over, you simply hand the sheets of paper - immediately to the owner. Seeing that someone is behind on their lunch bill takes more than a glance.

Evil Pig woman attacks - A Piece of Advice

Today I read a post that made me really really angry. A grandmother wrote in to say her sons ex-girlfriend had a son that she became "grandmother" to. Her other grandchildren also considered and still consider this boy family. The problem comes in the shape of an evil pig woman who is the current girlfriend of her son. She tells "grandmother" here to break off all relations with the young boy as now her son will become the new grandchild!!!! She feels the young boy is a "threat" to her and her son!!!! How easily this woman speaks! And how does she not know how relationships work?!!!!

What I would say to her::
How can you break a small child's heart based on some stupid and I repeat stupid, immature woman? I have to tell you I could barely type out "woman" in the last sentence, I wanted to say "pig". Your adopted grandson has done no wrong, why even THINK about punishing him? This story shocked me (why??), and makes me want to come down there and shake this woman.

You tell this woman that she is not the boss of you. "You do not control me nor do you tell me how to live MY life. I will live my life, how I choose. I will love as many of gods beautiful children as I wish. If you do not wish for me to have a relationship with your son, I will respect that and not push the issue". And by all means don't. This woman is a bully plain and simple, showing her even an ounce of weakness will make her scrape your innards out all the more faster. You can explain to her there is no "threat" to her or her son. Hearts do not have limits on the number of people they can love. Tell her. And by all means let her refuse to enter your home, until SHE grows up and becomes a human being. In this day and age of marriages and relationships breaking and joining at breakneck speeds, new types of relationships are borne, such as yours and they are a beautiful thing. I applaud your beautiful outlook on relationships, keep strong in your views. YOU are right.

My Hairy Hobbit Friend- A Piece of Advice

A woman wrote in to ask if she should talk to her sandal wearing, hairy toed, uni brow friend, passed up for a promotion and wondering why.

My Advice:: Hell yeah! You call this woman your friend so act like one! You do not need to go up to her and yell, "Hey Hobbit toes, listen up!!". You could take her on a girls day out, go to a lunch, and gently bring up the questions she asked you about (The Hairy Toed lady also wondered why men did not take her bait). Explain gently, "to most men, hair on women is a turn off, maybe you should wax your feet, fix up your brows, it's an easy upkeep. How about we go today, I'll take you?". Make a salon day out of it! Have fun, maybe she's never had a girls day out? Hopefully she will take your suggestions to heart. And it was unfortunate, but I do understand that employees need to put "socially acceptable" looking people out front to represent their companies. And nobody better have words against this.

How many of you slobber over Hollywood's "pretty" stars, how many of you have made fun of "unkempt", hairy, basically not "good looking" people in your lives? Even now, most people will respond a lot better to a handsome guy or pretty woman than someone who burps, farts and has...hairy eyebrows. It is something that is instinctual within us, but we do not have to be mean or rude because of it. Rather now that you know, you should be all the more passionate about being sure the "ugly, not socially accepted" people you look over, are included. I am undecided as to whether this following statement will remain here, but here it is, I too am not "socially accepted". I've had lots of life experience, long lasting memories and horrible pain, there it is. Just the way the world twirls.

Bully Mom or Insecure? -A Piece of Advice

Another column, another day. Today a woman wrote to ask whether her mom, is a bully or not. The mummy is always making disparaging comments about others, calling them stupid or dumb. The daughter claims this woman doesn't know as much about certain subjects herself, yet she openly exclaims as to the stupidity of others. Now the columnist agreed with the daughter, this woman is a bully. I do not.

What I would say:: No, your mother is not a bully, it doesn't even fit the description correctly. Your mother seems to suffer from lack of self-esteem. When she calls someone stupid, it immediately calms her, makes her feel better about herself. She might even live in fear of being called out herself, called dumb, stupid, or worse. In order to stop people from "getting" her first she "attacks" them and lowers them in the eyes of whoever is with her. This she thinks will sabotage any ideas of her stupidity forming in the minds of her friends/family.

I suppose my advice would be, talk to your mother, in private. Tell her that her behavior creates a bad image in front of her grandchildren (the story stated that her granddaughter wondered why Grandma was always so "mean"). Tell her also what her granddaughter said. Hopefully, Grandma will realize that if a ten year old thinks she is a "mean" lady, she might want to be perceived as something kinder If that doesn't work, the direct approach can be used to shock and stun. Tell your mother, "Ma, stop taking out your feelings of insecurity on people you barely know". You'll get a fight from her, duh. But every time she does it, condition her. Stop talking to her for five minutes (tell her what you're doing) . I know, I know, she is not a dog, but it may be one workable method of getting her to stop. You can choose to walk away from the conversations if her behavior does not better itself, but that might open up a can of anger on her part. Try some of these steps, see what you think.

Rude Dude Grandpapa - A Piece of Advice

This column I read about was a woman complaining about the rude behavior of her grandfather. Apparently, he served Grandma with legal papers pertaining to their divorce- during the woman's wedding reception. And he refused to apologize.

I truly think that this is not a black and white type case. Were these just some pieces of paper he handed over to Grandma because he was meeting her there? These papers were not sprung on the old woman as a surprise divorce, not does it seem there were any tears or yelling or disturbing behavior. He simply passed some papers on to his ex-wife. I've been to a lot of receptions, some are boring and you just sit there. The old guy was not disturbing any peace, the bride just wants to have something to feel self righteous about. So hey lady, enjoy your newly married bliss, count your blessings, and forgive old grandpa, you want to keep your last years of knowing him, in anger?