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Thursday, January 27, 2011

Lose the Dentist, he's an EVIL GENIUS anyway.

Okay, I just finished reading about a woman complaining how she tries to budget, but her kids dental bills always pile up. And it occurs to me - I read this very often. I have only gone to the dentist once in my life. And that is after I became lazy and stopped brushing twice a day. So what I need to ask is.....why do you people need to go so often?

Just brush once in the morning (before breakfast) and then once at night (before bed). And no I'm not a lone freak, nobody in my family needs dental visits or has cavities or gingivitis or whatever. No, I don't use Listerene everyday (though dad used to pour it on our cuts and scrapes). I think it just might be not brushing properly, not brushing long enough and enough times in one day.

I got two cavities due to laziness and depression. It hurt like hell and so I went to the dentist. She cleaned it up and told me I should have my 2 back teeth removed! Hell, no! I took matters into my own hands, I researched the net for those hippie herbal type cures. And the evil dentists who want to cash in your teeth (they partner up with the tooth fairy), don't want you to know that they work. I started brushing properly using a fluride toothpaste, Colgate Total works the best apparently. As a side note" monoflurophosphate" (from the back of the tube) is one of my favorite words to repeat over and over again, to send myself into a stupor. I even came up with my own top secret blend of herbs, spices, minerals, and rocks (okay maybe not rocks but, that would've made it REAL interesting) to reverse my cavitiesand completely losy my cold sensitivity. I'm thinking of marketing it. Well read below for things I've learned.

  • If you do have cavities:
  • Swish out your mouth with water after everything you eat. Starve those bacteria. Takes like 10 sec.
  • Chew Xylitol Gum(it is proven to reduce cavities. Gum? Yes! Woohoo!)
  • Drink plenty of milk, it is proven to help reduce cavities.
  • Massage your gums, use the side of your brush or finger. It helps, I know. Blood circulation and all, strength, need I say more?
  • Using Colgate Total as opposed to Sensodine is good. I know.
  • For immediete relief try Clove Oil, it numbs down the zapping pain better and longer than Oragel.
  • Cut pieces of raw garlic (click this just for fun) and hold them against your gums for and hour. Okay DON'T. I did and the suphur in garlic burns you a new one. On the bright side the cavity pain dulls due to the pain & discomfort of raw sulphurizing your gums.
  • Eating Cheese, yeah. "Contains fatty acids that possess antibacterial ingredients. The protein in cheese also coats and protects tooth enamel".
  • My top secret formula. Call me.

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